Have you ever felt like you needed a new start? A new city or state, new job, new friends (in NO way is this referring to or dising my current friends) or a totally new environment?
As long as I have known Billy he has always mentioned moving out of the state of MS. Frequently he talks about all of the wonderful job opportunities and how much more they pay that are out there but there is one thing that always stops him and that thing is ME! Selfishly, I have never wanted to move off and away from everything and everyone I know.
I have constantly been thinking about my situation that occured yesterday and trying to make sense of it. Maybe it was Gods way of opening my eyes up to seeing how hurt I was by others selfishness but yet I'm doing the same thing to Billy when it comes to moving.
When i think about it (w/o the moving away from everyone and everything i know) it kinda seems exciting. New house, new job, i hear that social workers make a lot more in other states, and new environment.
Most of all, it would be a new start with just the three of us! After all, home is where you make it. Right?
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Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Hurt
So today was supposed to be a great day that I was SO excited about, however, it did not turn out that way. Part of it was my fault for being mad and hard headed but mostly I was just hurt. Some people won't get that though. They will just think that I was acting like a "you know what."
I'm not going to go into details and "air out my dirty laundry" like some people do. I mainly am writing to say that I have had ENOUGH! I am SO tired of giving and giving and giving and getting ANYTHING in return but the shaft, for the record I'm not referring to material things.
When anyone else needs or wants something, most of the time if I am able, I am there to help them or get them whatever they need without them even having to ask. When I need or want something it's a different story.
Today was the straw that broke the camels back. NO MORE, NO MORE!
While driving around tonight trying to "gather my thoughts" and just spending some time alone I heard a song on the radio. A verse in the song stated, "all you can do is pray for them and leave the rest up to God." I keep repeating and repeating that verse in my head but it is so hard to do. The hurt is still there no matter how hard I try!
I just don't understand people, their line of thinking, and most of all how they can be so self centered and live with the way that they treat people. I'm sure I will never figure it out.
For the mean time, I am going to throw myself into God, my husband and my precious baby girl and push on!
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I'm not going to go into details and "air out my dirty laundry" like some people do. I mainly am writing to say that I have had ENOUGH! I am SO tired of giving and giving and giving and getting ANYTHING in return but the shaft, for the record I'm not referring to material things.
When anyone else needs or wants something, most of the time if I am able, I am there to help them or get them whatever they need without them even having to ask. When I need or want something it's a different story.
Today was the straw that broke the camels back. NO MORE, NO MORE!
While driving around tonight trying to "gather my thoughts" and just spending some time alone I heard a song on the radio. A verse in the song stated, "all you can do is pray for them and leave the rest up to God." I keep repeating and repeating that verse in my head but it is so hard to do. The hurt is still there no matter how hard I try!
I just don't understand people, their line of thinking, and most of all how they can be so self centered and live with the way that they treat people. I'm sure I will never figure it out.
For the mean time, I am going to throw myself into God, my husband and my precious baby girl and push on!
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Monday, April 19, 2010
I need your help!
ok....the deadline to turn all of Raylee's stuff in for the state pageant is FASTLY approaching! In that information I have to choose ONE picture to turn in for the "Most Photogenic" competetion.
Click HERE to view the pictures that are up for consideration and let me know!
I have narrowed it down to 2. If I have to I will be willing to pay the extra $5 to submit a second photo. Also let me know if I should send in the color or black & white version!
Thanks for your help!!!!
Click HERE to view the pictures that are up for consideration and let me know!
I have narrowed it down to 2. If I have to I will be willing to pay the extra $5 to submit a second photo. Also let me know if I should send in the color or black & white version!
Thanks for your help!!!!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Mommy & Raylee time
After Raylee's nap Saturday afternoon we had some "Mommy & Raylee time" and this is what we did!
This was an old wagon that was left at our house from the previous owners. It was thrown in the trash pile because two of the wheels were broken off of it and like my father, I pulled it out because I figured somewhere down the road I could use it. That sounds like a hoarding statement doesn't it...haha!!
A couple of weeks ago it occurred to me what I could do! I got Billy to break the other two wheels off of it and Raylee & I planted flowers in it and put in the the flower bed. Well to be honest, I planted the flowers and Raylee threw the potting soil out of the wagon. She didn't quiet get it! Maybe in a couple of years!
I originally wanted it to sit on the front porch but the flowers I bought needed a lot of sun light so I had to find another place for it. I just hope I can keep them a live!
Play date with the future husband......
Saturday night while Billy was at deer camp Raylee & I went over to April & Brian's house for a visit! They have a precious little boy, Blake, that was born about a month & half before Raylee. We all had such a good time! The kids played and played their little hearts out! We think they might be kinda sweet on each other! April & I have decided that they may grow up and get married! Who knows.....
Silly Girl
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Letting Go....
Raylee is 21 months old now BUT she thinks she is about 20 years old! The child has NO fear whats so ever and has become "Ms Independent". Since Billy takes Raylee to school everyday I have developed a habit of calling him every morning and asking how Raylee was. Knock on wood, she LOVES going to daycare. She never cries when you drop her off, instead she struts her stuff on in there like she owns the place. It is really cute but I have this fear that one day he is going to drop her off and she is going to loose it and not want him to leave. This is this reason why Billy started taking her in the first place, I couldn't handle dropping her off and leaving her.
Any way, Billy is saddened by the fact that Raylee wants to walk into daycare instead of being carried. The past couple of mornings I have laughed to myself because when I asked if she strutted her stuff in the door he has said "No, I carried her" and comes up with a excuse...hahaha! It is so cute! We need to brace ourselves because I'm sure this is only the beginning!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Lammie #10
Since I have to be at work at 7:00 I don't get to wake Raylee up in the morning and see her before I go to work. I don't know why buy I love going into her room in the mornings to wake her up. I guess I enjoy it because as soon as I get her out of her crib I put her on the changing table and change her diaper and when she was a baby she would lay there and look up at me and coo and try so hard to talk. Today things are not much different. Most of the time, she just lays there just as still as she can, which is rare these days, looks up at me and talks. I LOVE to hear her sweet little voice, especially in the mornings. When I went into her room to wake her up this morning this is what I found.......
She is hugging a lamb that the Easter bunny brought her last year. To some this may not have a lot of meaning but to the Tucker grandchildren it does. Billy's nanny called all of her grandchildren "Lammies" and then the number in which they were born. Billy is lammie #3, I am lammie #3 1/2 and Raylee is lammie #10. The lamb that Raylee is hugging has a ladybug on its chest (Raylee's room is decorated in ladybugs) so when the Easter bunny saw it we knew that she HAD to have it! Nanny is no longer with us and most would say that "she never got to meet her nanny." We believe otherwise and tell her all the time that her Nannie hoovers over her bed at night and watches over her. The first thing I thought of this morning when I saw this was, Nannie must have been with her last night.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Photo Shoot with Renee Bynum Photography
Friday before we left for Gatlinburg I took Raylee to Renee Bynum's studio to do a photo shoot for Raylee's ads for the state pageant. I wasnt really expecting much because when I try to take her picture she will not look at the camera and sometimes hides her face and screams! What happened to my baby that use to pose for the camera?! Anyway, on our way out of the hotel in Birmingham I used their computer in their business center to look at them. I know that I am partial because she is my child but just let me tell you.....I was AMAZED. I did not want to leave the computer! They were breath taking! In fact, I cant stop looking at them! I can not believe that she has gotten so big! It brings tears to my eyes.....seriously!
Ok....I will shut up and let you see for yourself!!!!
Ok....I will shut up and let you see for yourself!!!!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Thursday's Happenings
Today was a nasty day! It was kind of nice until we had to get out in it. We woke up to roaring thunder and hard rain hitting the tin roof of our cabin. It sounded so nice we laid there an extra 30 mins just listening to it!
Since we knew it was going to rain we saved the aquarium for today. Little did we know everyone else had the same idea! We finally made it. A little wet but it was ok!
The aquarium was really nice and we all really enjoyed it. Raylee just starred at everything like...wow!
On the way out we got her a glass sea horse to sit next to her glass puppy we brought back from Italy! We picked this up for Louis
It is an 18 wheeler that is carrying a shark tank! I know, i know, i know, the kid needs another truck like I need another purse, BUT I feel sure that he does NOT have this one! I can't wait to see his little face when he sees it!
We also went to the Apple Barn. It was a really neat place and I wanted to bring home one of everything!
At this point we still had not decided if we were going to come home tonight or not. We didn't know what to do and didn't know what would be easier on Raylee since we were going to drive straight thru. Finally, I confessed to Billy my readiness to come home! So we ran back to the cabin and in between storms we loaded up and headed out!
We stopped in Knoxville, TN ate dinner and got back on the road. Raylee finally gave it up as we were coming into chatanoga and fell asleep!
We are in between Newton and Forest (MS) and by the grace of God she is still asleep! I just hope we can transfer her over to her bed and her stay asleep!
It seems like the closer we get to home the miles get longer!!!! I can't wait to get home and see Sadie Grace and Bailey (our 4 legged babies). Deliah stayed with my parents so I won't see her until the morning :(
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Since we knew it was going to rain we saved the aquarium for today. Little did we know everyone else had the same idea! We finally made it. A little wet but it was ok!
The aquarium was really nice and we all really enjoyed it. Raylee just starred at everything like...wow!
On the way out we got her a glass sea horse to sit next to her glass puppy we brought back from Italy! We picked this up for Louis
It is an 18 wheeler that is carrying a shark tank! I know, i know, i know, the kid needs another truck like I need another purse, BUT I feel sure that he does NOT have this one! I can't wait to see his little face when he sees it!
We also went to the Apple Barn. It was a really neat place and I wanted to bring home one of everything!
At this point we still had not decided if we were going to come home tonight or not. We didn't know what to do and didn't know what would be easier on Raylee since we were going to drive straight thru. Finally, I confessed to Billy my readiness to come home! So we ran back to the cabin and in between storms we loaded up and headed out!
We stopped in Knoxville, TN ate dinner and got back on the road. Raylee finally gave it up as we were coming into chatanoga and fell asleep!
We are in between Newton and Forest (MS) and by the grace of God she is still asleep! I just hope we can transfer her over to her bed and her stay asleep!
It seems like the closer we get to home the miles get longer!!!! I can't wait to get home and see Sadie Grace and Bailey (our 4 legged babies). Deliah stayed with my parents so I won't see her until the morning :(
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Thursday, April 8, 2010
Wednesday's Happenings Cont....
Raylee LOVED the ski lift! So much that while we were waiting in line for the tram back down the mountain she took time out to make face at people trying to talk to her
We won't get into the next couple of hours of drama. We will skip to the end of the evening! We took Raylee back to the amusement park and let her ride some more rides. I couldn't believe that my baby was on rides by HERSELF! With every day that passes it is more evident that we don't have a "baby" anymore! Moving right along, before the tears start!
We took her to a souvineer shop and immediately see took up with a stuffed bear so we got it and this
We finished the night off with a trip to Baskin Robbins. Yummm! The perfect ending to a hairy, difficult day :)
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Wednesday's Happenings
Wednesday was a VERY tiring and hard day. Everyone was exhausted and Raylee was homesick. She clung to anything that fit into her "normal" routine. For once she loved her carseat and acted a fool when u got her out of it, which is totally opposite of the norm for her. She loved riding around with the windows down and the wind blowing in her face!
Since she enjoyed riding we decided to ride up in the mountains but not before we stopped and picked up these
Every little girl should have a pair!
We were wanting to ride into Cherokee but was not successful. She was really fussy and all we could figure was her little ears were popping and she didn't understand why. I know mine sure were! We made it to the TN/North Carolina line and got out and looked at the view. It was beautiful.
On the way back down we stopped at a little stream and got out, climbed on the rocks and let Raylee put her feet In the water. All was going well until she slipped on a rock and took a nose dive into the water, but she was enjoying it prior to!
Next we rode the tram to Ober Gatlinburg, but not without drama!
At this point she was just baligerant. She didn't want anyone talking or looking at her! In her defense it was hot and then we were crammed in tight quarters and several people smelled like goats BUT there is a time and place to act like that and that was NOT the place!
Once we got on the tram she was fine. When we got to Ober Gatlinburg we rode the ski lift up several more mountains to see this
Here is some shots coming back down
Since she enjoyed riding we decided to ride up in the mountains but not before we stopped and picked up these
Every little girl should have a pair!
We were wanting to ride into Cherokee but was not successful. She was really fussy and all we could figure was her little ears were popping and she didn't understand why. I know mine sure were! We made it to the TN/North Carolina line and got out and looked at the view. It was beautiful.
On the way back down we stopped at a little stream and got out, climbed on the rocks and let Raylee put her feet In the water. All was going well until she slipped on a rock and took a nose dive into the water, but she was enjoying it prior to!
Next we rode the tram to Ober Gatlinburg, but not without drama!
At this point she was just baligerant. She didn't want anyone talking or looking at her! In her defense it was hot and then we were crammed in tight quarters and several people smelled like goats BUT there is a time and place to act like that and that was NOT the place!
Once we got on the tram she was fine. When we got to Ober Gatlinburg we rode the ski lift up several more mountains to see this
Here is some shots coming back down
Location:Gatlinburg,TN
Tuesday's Happenings Cont...
We ate dinner at The Alamo. While we were waiting on a table we sat out by the river in front of the restuarant and let Raylee feed the ducks. She heard me say it one time and has been saying "daauckkksss" since! It is so cute.
While we were waiting on our food to come out Raylee had a little "pay back" session with daddy to pass the time! She wanted to teach him a lesson about scaring her w/the bears!
After we got back to the cabin she fell asleep but not for long! 30mins later she was back up and stayed up until 2:30 am! Good thing daddy is a night owl!
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While we were waiting on our food to come out Raylee had a little "pay back" session with daddy to pass the time! She wanted to teach him a lesson about scaring her w/the bears!
After we got back to the cabin she fell asleep but not for long! 30mins later she was back up and stayed up until 2:30 am! Good thing daddy is a night owl!
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Location:Gatlinburg, TN
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Tuesdays Happenings
Yesterday we had another great day! We did a lot of shopping! Billy & Raylee were great troopers! I was SO proud of them! We went to the outlet mall and got a couple of great deals. Raylee racked up, as usual, Billy got several things and I got A shirt to wear for pictures when we go to the beach in May!
In between shopping we went to this place "wonderworks." it looks neat from the outside but we weren't real impressed with the inside. The outside looked like this big huge plantation style home but it was upside down. Yeah, you read that right, it was upside down! Inside there were some neat things but about after looking at the fifth spinning object and blinking my eyes to see what else u can see I was a little bored! They had some other neat things but raylee wasn't old enough to do them and the lines were to long for us to stand in to do them. After a while Raylee started acting like raylee and we left! The one time her throw down benefited me!
After we left there we went back into downtown Gatlinburg to walk around and do a little more shopping until dinner. Right as we were parking little miss decided she would take a nap. We took her out of her carseat and put her in the stroller and she never opened an eye!
It didn't take long before she heard all the music and comotion of all the people and woke up. She is the nosiest child I have ever met! She gets it honest from her "mema" (gamma)!
So we did a little more shopping and had to stop for a snack!
She LOVES "suuuuckerrrrsss" not sure why she drags the word out!
I love souvineers! When we went to Italy in 2007 we bought this little glass dog as a souvineer, Although there was not a baby nor had one been planed. Liitle did I know that we would be pregnant in two months! While we have been out and about we have been looking for the perfect souvineer to mark Raylee's 1at vacation! When I saw it I knew it was the one!
Next we did a little more shopping and on the way back to the car we came up on a stuffed bear and thought Raylee would want to pet it!
As you can see, she was not at all interested!
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
In between shopping we went to this place "wonderworks." it looks neat from the outside but we weren't real impressed with the inside. The outside looked like this big huge plantation style home but it was upside down. Yeah, you read that right, it was upside down! Inside there were some neat things but about after looking at the fifth spinning object and blinking my eyes to see what else u can see I was a little bored! They had some other neat things but raylee wasn't old enough to do them and the lines were to long for us to stand in to do them. After a while Raylee started acting like raylee and we left! The one time her throw down benefited me!
After we left there we went back into downtown Gatlinburg to walk around and do a little more shopping until dinner. Right as we were parking little miss decided she would take a nap. We took her out of her carseat and put her in the stroller and she never opened an eye!
It didn't take long before she heard all the music and comotion of all the people and woke up. She is the nosiest child I have ever met! She gets it honest from her "mema" (gamma)!
So we did a little more shopping and had to stop for a snack!
She LOVES "suuuuckerrrrsss" not sure why she drags the word out!
I love souvineers! When we went to Italy in 2007 we bought this little glass dog as a souvineer, Although there was not a baby nor had one been planed. Liitle did I know that we would be pregnant in two months! While we have been out and about we have been looking for the perfect souvineer to mark Raylee's 1at vacation! When I saw it I knew it was the one!
Next we did a little more shopping and on the way back to the car we came up on a stuffed bear and thought Raylee would want to pet it!
As you can see, she was not at all interested!
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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